Brenton
Listen to Noah?
October 19th 2007 09:44
“Um, guys?” says Noah.
“What?”
“We have a problem. Rain is going to come down. Huge flood. Wipe everything out. We have to build an Ark.”
“Bullshit.”
“Nah, fair dinkum.”
“Who says?”
“God says.”
“Bullshit.”
“Look, he passed on the message. That’s it. We have to work together, build an Ark. Get two of every creature on it. And we have to start changing our lifestyle to be less sinful.”
“To hell with you, you puritan bastard. I know this is rubbish. You must have some kind of loopy secret agenda to be spreading these foul lies.”
Noah and the angry disagreement man part ways. However it is not long until they meet again.
“Hey Noah”
“Gahh, what?”
“I can prove you’re wrong.”
“Dude. You can’t. There’s a flood coming. God’s sending it to destroy all the sin.”
“I can disprove it.”
“…riiiight.”
“These individuals who I quote these following statistics off, state that though rigorous theological testing, these is unlikely to be a flood…”
“The test has been done, mate.”
“Oh no, not this one. My carefully chosen set of expert scientists have through considerable research examined the problem. They discovered that this Global Flooding is simply factually untrue. They further decided that even if it is true, then it’s not the result of an act of God based on increasing sin levels but a simple natural phenomenon that is unaffected by human actions.”
“I don’t suppose this study was funded by casinos and brothels?”
“The study was funded in part by some groups like those you mentioned, but that in no way damages the integrity of the study, and to suggest it does is offensive to the professionals who put their efforts into the study.”
Then the rain starts.
**********
“Um Guys,” says Dr Scientist.
“What?”
“We have a problem. Ice Caps are melting. Human influence is accelerating Global Warming. We have to curb our consumption.”
“Bullshit.”
“Look, that’s the scientific consensus. That’s it. We have to start looking at viable scientific ways in which to solve these problems. And we have to start pursuing alternatives to our excessive Greenhouse Gas Emissions.”
“To hell with you, you alarmist greenie bastard. I know this is rubbish. You must have some kind of loopy secret agenda to be spreading these foul lies.”
Dr Scientist and the Self Righteous Conservative part ways. However, it is not long until they meet up again.
“Hey Dr Scientist”
“Gahh what?”
“I Can Prove you’re wrong”
“Dude. You can’t. Global warming is a scientifically proven consensus.”
“I can disprove it.”
“Riiiiiiight”
“New research from a specially selected panel of independent unbiased experts suggest there is no correlation between levels of C02 and the rate of the Earths warming.”
“Dude, the tests have been done.”
“Ohhh yes, but this is from a new group of professionals who know more than the world’s highest regarded scientists. There is no truth to this ‘global warming’ and even if there is, it is certainly not man made.”
“I don’t suppose this was funded by right wing agendas and oil industries?”
“Well there may be some association with those interests but that in no way impedes the credibility of the research and to suggest so is an affront to those working hard on this research.”
Then, the weather changes.
“What?”
“We have a problem. Rain is going to come down. Huge flood. Wipe everything out. We have to build an Ark.”
“Bullshit.”
“Nah, fair dinkum.”
“Who says?”
“God says.”
“Bullshit.”
“Look, he passed on the message. That’s it. We have to work together, build an Ark. Get two of every creature on it. And we have to start changing our lifestyle to be less sinful.”
“To hell with you, you puritan bastard. I know this is rubbish. You must have some kind of loopy secret agenda to be spreading these foul lies.”
Noah and the angry disagreement man part ways. However it is not long until they meet again.
“Hey Noah”
“Gahh, what?”
“I can prove you’re wrong.”
“Dude. You can’t. There’s a flood coming. God’s sending it to destroy all the sin.”
“I can disprove it.”
“…riiiight.”
“These individuals who I quote these following statistics off, state that though rigorous theological testing, these is unlikely to be a flood…”
“The test has been done, mate.”
“Oh no, not this one. My carefully chosen set of expert scientists have through considerable research examined the problem. They discovered that this Global Flooding is simply factually untrue. They further decided that even if it is true, then it’s not the result of an act of God based on increasing sin levels but a simple natural phenomenon that is unaffected by human actions.”
“I don’t suppose this study was funded by casinos and brothels?”
“The study was funded in part by some groups like those you mentioned, but that in no way damages the integrity of the study, and to suggest it does is offensive to the professionals who put their efforts into the study.”
Then the rain starts.
**********
“Um Guys,” says Dr Scientist.
“What?”
“We have a problem. Ice Caps are melting. Human influence is accelerating Global Warming. We have to curb our consumption.”
“Bullshit.”
“Look, that’s the scientific consensus. That’s it. We have to start looking at viable scientific ways in which to solve these problems. And we have to start pursuing alternatives to our excessive Greenhouse Gas Emissions.”
“To hell with you, you alarmist greenie bastard. I know this is rubbish. You must have some kind of loopy secret agenda to be spreading these foul lies.”
Dr Scientist and the Self Righteous Conservative part ways. However, it is not long until they meet up again.
“Hey Dr Scientist”
“Gahh what?”
“I Can Prove you’re wrong”
“Dude. You can’t. Global warming is a scientifically proven consensus.”
“I can disprove it.”
“Riiiiiiight”
“New research from a specially selected panel of independent unbiased experts suggest there is no correlation between levels of C02 and the rate of the Earths warming.”
“Dude, the tests have been done.”
“Ohhh yes, but this is from a new group of professionals who know more than the world’s highest regarded scientists. There is no truth to this ‘global warming’ and even if there is, it is certainly not man made.”
“I don’t suppose this was funded by right wing agendas and oil industries?”
“Well there may be some association with those interests but that in no way impedes the credibility of the research and to suggest so is an affront to those working hard on this research.”
Then, the weather changes.
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